Top Rated Family & Relationships Jokes | Good Bad Jokes

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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3889 votes · ·
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My grandad has the heart of a lion…
…and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2704 votes · ·
▲+710▼
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
1984 votes · ·
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What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
2302 votes · ·
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What did Barack say to Michelle when he got down on one knee?
I don't wanna be Obama-self!
2149 votes · ·
▲+425▼
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
2163 votes · ·
▲+392▼
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?
Bye Son!
1774 votes · ·
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Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
1758 votes · ·
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My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
1710 votes · ·
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My girlfriend says she needs time and distance.
Is she calculating velocity?
729 votes · ·
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What didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!
2225 votes · ·
▲+22▼
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila!!
2602 votes · ·
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What did one twin say to the other?
There's not enough womb in here for the two of us!
2733 votes · ·
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If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
2 votes · ·
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.
It's a faux pa.
1 vote · ·

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