32 Dad Jokes One-Liners | Good Bad Jokes

▲+3070▼
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day!
5773 votes · ·
▲+2442▼
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.
It's something I could really see myself doing!
4451 votes · ·
▲+2153▼
Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
3889 votes · ·
▲+1296▼
I sold my vacuum the other day…
all it was doing was collecting dust!
3000 votes · ·
▲+933▼
I'm really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls.
They're so full of themselves!
2121 votes · ·
▲+673▼
Jokes about menstruation just aren't funny.
Period.
2523 votes · ·
▲+505▼
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt.
The man says, "A beer please, and one for the road!"
2633 votes · ·
▲+492▼
I miss my umbilical cord.
I grew attached to it.
1812 votes · ·
▲+426▼
Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other, "So what kind of music do you like?"
The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan!"
1170 votes · ·
▲+419▼
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.
The bartender says: "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
2301 votes · ·
▲+143▼
A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
3083 votes · ·
▲+3▼
My dog used to chase people on a bike.
It got so bad, I had to take his bike away!
2 votes · ·
▲+2▼
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time…
are they guilty of resisting a rest?
2 votes · ·
▲+1▼
I used to hate facial hair…
but then it grew on me!
1 vote · ·
▲+1▼
One day the Canadians will take over the world…
Then you'll all be sorry!
1 vote · ·

« Prev12 3 Next »

Displaying Joke 1 – 15 of 32 in total